The premise may seem far-fetched, but not if you consider that Morocco offered bomb-sniffing monkeys to the “coalition of the willing” for the Iraq War. The leader of the G-Force team is an unconventional human scientist named Ben. The guinea pigs are cast as racial stereotypes.
“Clash of the Titans” Gods should have used Ashley Madison
In Greek mythology, the Gods were infamous for their adultery, but it never occurred to them to be discreet. While cheating on their partners and leaving bastard children behind, they never once thought to use Ashley Madison
“Hot Tub Time Machine” pays unwanted homage to bad 80s movies
Apparently all you need to bend time and space is a Russian soda, some vodka, and a magic squirrel, all which must be followed by some sort of weird acid trip that involves receiving a blow job from a bear. The time machine itself is a shameless rip-off of the “Back to the Future” franchise. The digital display is similar to the controls built into the Delorean. All they are missing is a flux capacitor, 86 mph, and 1.21 gigawatts.
“Crazy Heart” tortures audience with country music, naked Jeff Bridges
Bad Blake is such an insufferable character and the staging done to sell him as a washed-up country singer is hackneyed and predictable. In the opening scene, Blake is headlining a concert in a bowling alley. One where he’s denied free booze and shown up by his supporting band. Blake must run from the stage to puke in a back-alley garbage can lest he spray the audience with country-fried regurgitation in mid-song.
“G-Force” rodents should’ve been eaten in Peru
The premise may seem far-fetched, but not if you consider that Morocco offered bomb-sniffing monkeys to the “coalition of the willing” for the Iraq War. The leader of the G-Force team is an unconventional human scientist named Ben. The guinea pigs are cast as racial stereotypes.
“The Spirit” drives comic book fans to drink
The Spirit’s powers feature an enhanced recovery time from injury. He could be shot in the head and have several bones shattered, yet still be able to heal within a few hours, if not minutes. All he’s missing now are steel claws that come out of his fists and some yellow spandex to become the next Wolverine.
“Dragonball Evolution” more aptly described as regression
Well in a nutshell, it’s a Japanese version of Superman (except he is not from Krypton, and he doesn’t have a cowlick in his hair). The twist is that Goku must collect 7 testicles mystical orbs that summon a wish-granting dragon. No, the dragon is not named “Puff” – though it is magical.
“Daybreakers” sucks, even for a vampire movie
Seriously, more could have been done with the Vampire society theme. There wasn’t even an easy laugh like having someone sit down to a bowl of Count Chocula for breakfast, or count things in the style of The Count from Sesame Street.
“Surrogates” would be better if filmed like Robot Chicken
Bruce Willis dons his familiar action hero role as Tom Greer, and adorns a silly bleach-blonde wig as a surrogate. The parted hair, suit, and plastic expression that Willis wears through much of the movie is already a spot-on impersonation of a Ken doll, so you might as well go the whole way and film the movie Robot Chicken style using the toy figurine.
“Alice in Wonderland” full of blunders, is bland
With Alice, the result is that it perverts the nostalgic memory of the classic fairy tale with Burton’s abstract fetishism. The only thing to look forward to after watching it is to follow the plots main message. Take a bunch of random pills, drink from any bottle you can find, and hope things will work out for the best.
“The Blind Side” induces self-eye gouging response
Starting with the scene where Tuohy sheepishly asks her husband if they can keep Michael, the uncomfortable comparison to a family pet becomes more obvious as this movie ambles along without thought. Tuohy learns that Michael scored well in his “protective instincts” section of the aptitude test and hastily proceeds to treat him as a watch dog. She even encourages him by saying “good boy” at one point.